Hatty L. (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for over a decade. As the founder of a group practice in Los Angeles, California, she supports people to deepen connection with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She is the co-creator of @indwell_co (a guidebook on navigating your mental health www.indwell.co) and also writes about various mental health topics on her Instagram account @hattyjlee. Her work has been featured in multiple editorials, including Women's Health Magazine and Reader's Digest.

What is Indwell and why do you feel that it is so important?

Indwell means to fully inhabit your home within. It is a mental health guide that I created with a creative life coach and visual artist to make mental health within reach to more people. It incorporates visual art that helps to deepen the messages within the guide, and make the material less intimidating. We cover 8 practices that have been consistent in our work with over 1,000 people we have worked with.

Why did you choose therapy as your career?

I always loved listening to people's stories, and this field allowed me to intimately get to do just that. I was also often that friend who people came to for support and knew it was a natural skill I had to counsel others. Plus, I had a lot of questions about my own story which this career has helped answer throughout the years. Love being a therapist!

Why have you chosen to focus on therapy for people of color?

I still remember when a family member sought out mental health support over 20 years ago and fell through the cracks because of major cultural gaps and very little support for people of color at that time. I know how hard it is to find support as a person of color. There are a lot of nuances that would be easily missed with an untrained eye or lived experience. I am so glad to offer my support to others in my community that help people to feel more seen and known.

Why do you think it’s important to choose to help a specific group of people?

My Asian American clients, in particular, have told me so many times how they met with White therapists who just didn't understand their cultural heritage and nuances of their experiences which left them feeling misunderstood often. It's important for your therapist to truly understand you. It is in that experience of being known that healing is made possible.

What do you wish that all women knew about mental health/self-care?

I wish women knew that they deserve to be cared for and their mental health can be nurtured without having to wait until a crisis. Women can start now wherever they are, and they should reach out to someone safe to talk about their inner lives. We do not always need to stay strong. There is a strength in being vulnerable too.

In your opinion, what is the best way to improve one’s mental well-being?

I think one of the most accessible ways is to journal everyday, meditation (both of which I cover in my guide), and being in nature which helps to deepen self awareness and be more attuned to our mind-body-soul. Seeing a therapist is always a great way to care for ourselves too.

What stresses you out the most?

Right now, COVID-19 is stressful and reading about what's happening in our world.

How do you practice self-care?

I set limits to how much information I consume. I rollerblade, cycle, and spend a lot of time in nature. I am also a plant mama and journal in my free time. Oh, and I love playing with my kids.

How do you find inspiration?

I read books. Nature. I pray and practice mindfulness. There is always something inspiring to be found in whatever is raw and natural-- often revealing a truth about our own nature.

How would you describe a perfect day?

Making a delicious breakfast, being out in nature, definitely a bath is in there somewhere, and getting to spend quality time with my family.

Who, among the people you know, brings out the best in you and why?

My partner--he has a way of knowing me and seeing through all my masks, my striving, and coping. There is something vulnerable yet empowering about being seen by someone. It has given me the courage to be more of who I truly am.

What top 3 lessons have you learned the hard way and why?

1. Don't wait until your body breaks down to start taking care of it. Start now wherever you are. Restoring your body is a lot harder if you wait until you hit rock bottom.

2. Less striving and doing, and more being who you truly are. You don't have to always strive for what's out there, start within and learn to love yourself and be yourself-- then your doing won't be at your expense.  

3. Don't waste your energy on the past and future, live in the present. Gosh this one is still a struggle for me at times, but it's such an important one. We can miss out on the gift of the present moment.

What 5 things do you love about yourself?
My creativity
My commitment to growth
Being able to be honest about my shortcomings and grow
My sensitivity (now)
My courage to step out to be seen (like writing the Indwell Guide)

What keeps you up at night?

Writing and reading.

What do you do when you can’t sleep at night?

If I want to relive my teenage years, I watch Korean dramas (guilty pleasure). If I want to truly fall asleep, I read something boring.

Name one thing you’re really afraid to do and explain why?

I'm afraid to put myself out there. I've been taught within my family and culture to keep my head down and stay behind the scenes. It doesn't help that my training as a therapist was also similar in a lot of ways. I've been taking small steps to show up...The Indwell Guide is one of the biggest ways I have chosen to show up this year.

What has had the greatest impact on your life, good or bad, and why?

Giving birth to my first child. I suffered from a hemorrhage and almost died because of the amount of blood that was lost. I lost a lot of friends and my old self during that season. It was painful, but it birthed dreams (such as starting my own therapy practice), deep desires, and deepened other relationships.

Do you have any bad habits you wish you could break? What are they?

Yes, I am a night owl. And I can be a perfectionist. These two things aren't very good habits especially as a mother with kids who wake up super early and require me to be very flexible with how life happens.

What do you think is keeping you from complete happiness?

I think seeing people I love suffer.

What’s your happy place?

Nature, especially the forest and writing.

Is there anything else you want to say on this topic?

Nope, thanks for thinking of me! It is an honor!

Publish date: March 15, 2021